I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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