I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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