Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
