i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
