Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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