porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
