question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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