she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
