ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
