I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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