Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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