Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
vagina is talking i cant
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
