its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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