i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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