hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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