seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize