i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
