you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
