i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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