This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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