Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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