So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
