Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
