Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize