I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize