To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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