THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
