I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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