I swear she didn't look like that last week.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize