I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize