by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
