it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
