69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm having to shit out rocks
that may or may not have been my penis.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
