Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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