well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
