is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Welp...herpes.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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