I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Randomize