i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I could make wine with my vomit
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize