I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
