So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
