You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
