Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
