You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
