so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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