All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
