Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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