just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
