Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
