you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
