OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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