she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
