i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
