And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
