once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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