We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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