Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
