I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
