There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I am puke
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
