My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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