That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
