I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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