lets start a swedish sibling band together
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
