shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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