how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
