New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
