Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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