just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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