Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize