So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
