Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Randomize
