I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
