you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
