you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
