It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize