tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wish you could order shots online.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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