i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just pee around me
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
