Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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