I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
