I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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