How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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